Last Names
by Devour
Summary: Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names? A question is posed to five different doctors who work with House and one other. Series of drabbles.
1. Chapter I

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a house. Oh wait, that's not right. I don't own House. This fanfic is just that - a fan's work of fiction.

**Author's note: **This is my first venturing into the world of fanfiction, but that doesn't mean you should go easy on me in terms of (constructive!) criticism. Right now I'm just trying to get a handle on the characters, so nothing descriptive at present. This fic will be a series of five drabbles - 100 word chapters - each beginning with the question "Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?" being asked of a different person who works with House. No names are mentioned, but it should be pretty obvious who's who. It was something I found myself asking (yeah, a somewhat trivial question to most, I'm sure) so it inspired me to write on it. And one last thing - at the time of writing, I'm only midway into Season 2, so I'm hoping it's not too inconsistent with future character developments.

* * *

"Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?"

A pause.

"Actually, I dunno."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"It bothers House if we call him by his first name."

"And that doesn't strike you as odd?"

"I've never given it a second thought really."

Eyebrows rise.

"Look, keeping House happy comes with the job-"

"Doesn't seem like the guy's ever happy. In the true sense of the word."

"Not annoying him then. It's part of the job description."

"How so?"

"Less work for all of us that way."

"That's all you want, huh?"

"It's all I need, from him."


	2. Chapter II

**Author's note: **Forgot to mention that each conversation takes place between a particular doctor and a curious patient.

* * *

"Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?" 

"I have no idea."

"You wouldn't even hazard a guess?"

"Well, I've never understood the man myself."

"But you work together."

"That depends on your definition of 'together'."

A strange look.

"Gaining insights into an insane mind isn't a personal hobby of mine."

"So... you think he's insane?"

"He certainly does insane things."

"Some would say that makes you insane for hiring him."

"I'm sure the 'some' that he's treated would think differently."

"You feel that your actions are justified, then."

"In all my time here, I've never regretted it."


	3. Chapter III

**Author's note:** Thanks to my reviewers so far! As to the clarification asked for, J Lesley is right on both accounts. Looking back at it I can see how there might be some confusion for Chapter I... but in my mind it's slightly more applicable to one of the characters.

* * *

"Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?"

A pause.

"You know, I don't think I've ever been asked that question about House before."

"People ask you about him a lot?"

"The man inspires curiosity that the rest of us don't get."

"How come?"

"Maybe it's the beard. Or the cane, perhaps."

"Very funny, but you'll not deflect me."

"I guess it's his way of keeping things impersonal. He... doesn't like to get too close to people."

"He's close to you."

A slow blink.

"He only uses my first name when he's mocking me."

"Well, there you go."


	4. Chapter IV

**Author's note: **Thanks go out to my reviewers! The last chapter I posted was probably my favourite to write. Although I would have to say that this one has been the hardest yet. Enjoy!

* * *

"Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?"

"Why the interest? Plenty of people do it."

"Not many as adamantly as he does."

"You should probaby ask him then."

"He'd lie."

A pause.

"Well?"

A sigh.

"Doctor House does what he likes. I just stay out of his way."

"You scared of him?"

"He likes to think so."

"Then you're not."

"I work with him."

"Bet he doesn't let you get away with being this evasive."

A pause.

"Look, he's a good doctor. Saves a lot of lives. I respect him for that."

"Is that it?"

"It's enough."


	5. Chapter V

**Author's note:** Easy one this time. The last chapter... or is it?

* * *

"Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?"

"I... Maybe it's a familiarity thing."

"A what?"

"Well... friends drop titles like 'Doctor' when they're comfortable with each other."

"Are you saying he considers you his friend?"

Silence.

"He's comfortable with you?"

Silence.

"Are you in love with him?"

"Excuse me?"

"How else can you see good in him when he doesn't even like you?"

"He... he's a good person."

"Is he?"

"He does what's right."

"And that's sufficient to call him a good person."

A held gaze.

"No. I'm not in love with him."

The eyes said otherwise.


	6. Chapter VI

**Author's note:** I know I said five chapters, and it was all I intended to write when I started the fic, but I decided to do an extra chapter dedicated to those who have taken the time to read and review this story. Thanks guys!

* * *

"Why does Doctor House insist on using only last names?"

A pause.

"Have you met Doctor House?"

"I hear he doesn't see patients often."

"He has a speech impairment. Can't say the word 'doctor' properly."

"I heard that his leg was the problem."

A scrutinizing glance.

"You've heard a lot about him."

"People love talking."

"And what do people say?"

"That he's a bastard."

"Big surprise."

"But I don't believe it."

Eyebrows rise.

"Why not?"

"He's curing me. That counts for something."

A pager beeps.

"You're leaving?"

"Secret doctor's business."

The door shuts.

The pager reads, 'dinner, my place, 6pm'.


End file.
